You are not alone.
Those words have conveyed the motives of
your Divorce Peers since
the earliest version of this site. It's even more true today.
People in all stages of divorce feel
isolated and overwhelmed.
Early on, you're there, married — and things
don't seem quite right. But are they "bad" enough? Then: "What am I
without this?" "Who am I?" Maybe I'm being unreasonable; maybe
this is as good as it gets. Even if you decide the pain is real and
excruciating, the process for getting out can seem irretrievably unclear
and hopelessly hostile.
In-process, they forgot to tell you that
things could actually get worse that the intolerable marriage itself,
and that dealing with the unfolding list of issues would be the
equivalent of taking on employment in a second job.
Oh, yeah: And
things can move about as fast as cold molasses in a Michigan
Was this your choice, a mutual choice, or a
choice forced upon you? In the end, does it really make a difference?
Then the Judgment of Divorce is signed by
the court and entered by the clerk and at least you can close the door
on the legal divorce. Except for parenting skirmishes before Friend of
the Court personnel. And the marital home that they got, under the
stipulation that your name be removed from the title within five years —
and here, in year eight, they still haven't.
"See you in court!"
All this time,
little by little, you're learning a lot more about yourself
than you ever knew there was to know (if you're smart, and paying
attention, that is). You can do all sorts of things you never felt were
in you, and your
next relationship choices can be made less from need than equality.
Yes, a lot of stuff is harder; surprisingly, some stuff is actually
Until now, nobody told you that it would be
one to three years minimum from the day your Judgment of Divorce was
signed before you'd even be nominally ready to really rebuild your life.
While all pages available here from your
Divorce Peers are fundamentally about you
(including those designed to help those who are trying to help you),
this section in particular has been setup to validate all that is you.
And show you just how much you can do,
encourage you toward that, and point out the many places where help is
Now as always: You are not alone.
Please treat yourself